Writing Leads Pt.2
Hi! Since we will be writing a feature story for our article, we have to make sure our writing is up to par. Our teacher has us practicing how to write our leads. This is my second one.
These are the facts:
- The police in this municipality received a call at 3:45 p.m. yesterday afternoon. A woman shouted at the sergeant who answered the telephone. She said: "My son's been beaten. His teacher whipped him this afternoon, and he's all red where she paddled him. Can teachers do that? That's assault and battery, and I want her arrested." Two police officers were sent to the home. They questioned the boy, who is 9 years old. At his mother's insistence, the police officers also inspected the boy's reported injuries. They reported: "We couldn't tell that the boy had been paddled. His fanny didn't look red to us, but we did notice that his pants legs were wet and muddy. As we talked, it became obvious that he boy was lying. He finally admitted that he had stopped to play on the way home from school, forgot the time and got home late. He told his mother that the teacher had spanked him and kept him after school. His mother was there with us and heard the whole story. She said she'd take of the situation, and we're quite certain that she will, as she was very embarrassed. In fact, we could hear her giving the kid a real paddling as we left—and a hard one."
This is my lead:
"My son's been beaten” a woman said frantically on the other side of the phone. “Ma’am please explain the situation, where are you currently.” “ His teacher whipped him this afternoon, and he's all red where she paddled him. Can teachers do that? That's assault and battery, and I want her arrested.” They now knew this situation was serious. Police rushed over to her address and requested the little boy to tell him the story. Both officers looked at each other with a suspicious expression. “Ma’am, the teacher did not do anything to your child, there’s something he’s not telling you.”
Comments
Post a Comment